The Great Nothing

Lack of sex.
Lack of sleep.
Lack of feelings.
Lack of will.
All I have in a fair ammount is shame.
Shame I cannot control my brain to shut it all out and live the good life. Shame I am such a pitiful fuck that has to have someone taking care of him. Shame of my constant backtrack, my wrongful second-guessing.
Yeah, I left it burning, hoping when I got back to being myself it would have extinguished itself. But now all that's left is the front, damaged beyond repair but untouched to the untrained eye.
It's a shame I'm such a dimwit, always taking things too slow, always dragging around, lacking a will, lacking a mind. Even more shameful I'm pushing all the wrong buttons, usually with delay. Nothing is done right now, and by the time I get to it, it's no longer the time for that, things have escalated, things have changed, it makes no matter anymore. And I let it burn.